Some of my clients are finding themselves hitting this invisible wall. It is a limitation in their career or life where they want something more but cannot pinpoint how to get there. Their current roles in life aren’t serving them anymore, but the longer they are stuck in one place, the harder it is to believe that something else is possible. When we dig deeper, my clients discover that they are missing a sense of self, an identity, an ability to follow their own intuition instead of listening to what others want or believe is best for them. They have become so conditioned to saying and doing what others want that they find themselves putting others before themselves. In doing so, my clients end up over-committing to engagements out of obligation or guilt. They make decisions based upon what they should do and not what they want to do. They forget how to validate their own feelings and instead, seek the advice of others before listening to their own wisdom.

One recent client told me that he felt stuck in trying to figure out what he wants next in his career. It appears that he has everything: a fortune 500 company, many degrees, a supportive family, and a home. However, this client has endured a life of hardship, poverty, and struggle to get to where he is today. But, in doing so, he has shut off any desires he has had in order to stay focused and get to the next level of his career. Now that he is finally presented with all these options and resources in his life, he has forgotten his power of choice and desire.

In our conversation, he tells me, “I come up with a lot of reasons why I do not do things. I have this invisible wall that I hit. I tell myself, ‘Oh I can’t do this because I don’t have the time or money, I’d rather put the money elsewhere’ or ‘I have to eat this food because I cannot afford what I want.’ When I lived in [a city in his home country] for 6 years, I craved my favorite foods, but never ate them because I couldn’t afford it. I stopped myself from enjoying anything that I liked. I trained my mind to stop liking things because of the knowledge that I could not afford it. After high school, I stopped pursuing my hobbies to save money. I stopped doing the activities I enjoyed like building computers because I didn’t have the money and I had to get into college. I suppressed my feelings and now I don’t even know what I want. I’ve endured so much in my life that I’ve turned off the desire to fill my needs. I feel very plain, like what do I really want? I don’t even know and I don’t care. I’ve survived in an apartment with no electricity. I had to live on the streets because I couldn’t pay rent. I call myself a survivor, but I often suppress that instinct. If I look at my life and what I own and if you ask if I deserve it, I say no I don’t. My desire has been so deeply suppressed that my natural response is to say that I don’t want it or care about it. I feel as though I have to live on only what I need. I find myself suppressing even the simplest things; it even happens to me at dinner. My wife would prepare the food I wanted and then I’d say no and eat the leftovers instead because I feel as though I cannot enjoy even the simplest pleasures.”

We all go through periods of hardship and struggle, but at some point our lives will call for us to reach higher, aim bigger and to live beyond our past circumstances. We have to learn to live brighter than we have in our past. We all have had limitations that prevent us from getting what we want. We need to release our past limitations in order to move forward towards a greater freedom. Your heart may want something, but your mind stops you and tells you that you cannot have it because you don’t deserve it or you’re not capable. In reality, there is NOTHING you cannot have. It’s an internal block. It is your survival mindset based on your perceived limitations that is the underlying reason for why you believe that you cannot have something or that you don’t deserve it. It is this lack of self-belief that prevents you from reaching your goals in your career or in your life as a whole. We were all born for great things and our perceived limitations and doubts are only roadblocks along our path to success. We are built to live with purpose and meaning in a way that is unique to each of us. It is our job to follow our internal compass and listen to our intuition. It’s the only thing we have that will always guide us in the right direction, to help us remember our heart’s greatest desire and to stop shrinking ourselves to places we’ve outgrown.

Join me in this shared journey. If you are ready for the space, support, and tools to lead with more self-compassion, authenticity, confidence, and personal-power, let’s meet for a free 20-minute consultation. I design empowering spaces and programs for you to listen to your soul and to transcend any challenge keeping you from living with more freedom and success. We live in challenging times, and as leaders it is vital that we take time to renew our spirits and reflect on the purpose and passion underlying our work, and above all, ourselves.